Take an automobile, a “smart phone” and a telemarketer from Bombay India and you will have a recipe for disaster!

While driving down the interstate at 70 miles per hour my cell phone rings. I answer my “smart phone” only to find out that a pesky telemarketer wants to sale me something.

Being the polite person that I am – I listened for a few seconds.

Good morning Ms. Gra-ham (this is supposedly how one pronounces Graham in India). I hope you are having a pleasant day.

Yes, thank you very much BUT I am not interested!

But Ms. Gra-ham let me tell you about this wonderful offer!

No, thank you!

But Ms. Gra-ham you do not want to miss out on this wonderful opportunity!

Yes, I do! I really want to miss out!

Mr. Bombay begins to read his script and there was nothing that I could say that would deter him!

Well, if you can’t take no for an answer I can always end the call myself!

I hold the phone out in front of me and with an indignant grunt I attempt to silence the annoying caller from Bombay India!

As I am working to execute this most excellent move the caller was unwavering in his attempt to sale me something…what I don’t know because I stopped listening after hello!

I press the “end call’ icon but the telemarketer is still talking?!

Huh? Why is Mr. Bombay still talking?

Ms. Gra-ham are you there?

No!

A car passes me and blows his car horn at me!

Oh yeah! You try getting off the phone BUSTER!

Ms. Gra-ham please a few minutes of your time!

No, go away!

I am becoming more perturbed by the minute so I begin slapping the “end call” icon while driving and feeling an over-powering need to talk to the motorist that blew his car horn at me! However, I still cannot disconnect the tenacious telemarketer from Bombay India!

I start commanding the phone to HANG UP but my “smart phone” mocked me!

Ms. Gra-ham this is a once in a life time!

I don’t want it! GO AWAY!

Since my “smart phone” is mocking me and I can’t end the call; I am now imploring the telemarketer from Bombay India to HANG UP THE PHONE!

Mr. Bombay please hang up the phone! I do not want to talk to you!

But Ms. Gra-ham!

Hang up!
HaNg uP!
HANG UP!

While driving down the road at 70 miles per hour, “smart phone” in hand, and an unrelenting telemarketer from Bombay India!

I did what any normal, rational, person would do who has been pushed to the brink by a “smart phone” that would not hang up… I tossed the phone out the window!

Today, I am feeling quite smug as I replaced my “smart phone” for a much less intelligent phone that will hang up when I press the “end call” icon!

Feeling Slightly Over the Edge,
Donna Faye, CDP

Advertisements