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My Benjamin

Ben

Thirty years ago today my youngest son, Ben, was born.

In 1983 ultrasound imaging was not as advanced as it is today. So it was still a guessing game the baby’s gender until its birth.

The doctors and nurses (more nurses) proclaimed they could tell the sex of the baby by its heart rate. A boy typically beat slower than girls.

Well, my little baby’s heart was beating like a jackhammer so it was a sure bet little Rebecca would be born pretty soon.

As things got intense and little Rebecca was making her way into the world I heard my husband, Bill say, “Holy Shit!” With tears in his eyes he looked at me and said, “Rebecca is a boy!”

Holy Shit was later named William Benjamin Graham!

Happy Birthday, “Holy Shit!”

Proud Mom,
Donna Faye, CDP

Simply Speechless

I took my grandson, Lee, to buy a headset for the PS3 and while driving to the store we were engaged in a lively conversation. He was quite the chatterbox and I was enjoying our time together.

Once we reached the store and exited the car I was still having a lively conversation with Lee… I was quite the chatterbox but suddenly Lee started talking to me in code!

I didn’t understand this strange language and so in a clear boisterous voice I said to Lee, “What did you say? I can’t hear you?”

Lee started walking fast! So I sped up to be able to hear what he was saying to me. “Lee, why are you walking so fast? I can’t hear you, WHAT?”

As I said “what” I noticed that Lee started making sharp downward slashing movements with his hand. Oh no, he must have slammed the car door on his hand!

In my ever so soothing voice I asked Lee if he hurt his hand. Lee walked a little faster?

Oh dear, he must be embarrassed. So again, I attempt to understand what Lee is saying to me while at the same time comfort him to ease his pain and embarrassment of slamming the car door on his hand.

I said to Lee, “Honey, slow down so I can look at your hand!”

Lee abruptly stopped walking and when he turned to look at me I saw my adolescent grandson morph into a pre-teen when he said under his breath and ‘may I say’ in a very forceful tone, “Grandma! Shhh! Will you hush! STOP TALKING TO ME!” For every word muttered out of his mouth there was a sharp hand slash to emphasize every word!

All through the store I follow this very aloof young fellow who picked out which headset he wanted through “smoke signals” and kept a very respectful distance from me as I PAID for the headset!

Once back in the car and on our way home Lee talked non-stop! “Thanks grandma! I can’t wait to get home and try this headset! It’s going to be a lot of fun playing online with Uncle Josh!”

Simply, “Speechless!”

Donna Faye, CDP

Grandpa and A Rubber Snake

My father and I shared one thing in common when he was alive.

He was terrified of snakes!

When my daughter, Jessica, was a young child she spent the night with her grandpa and grandma.

She had a rubber snake that she was playing with and when the little devil heard grandpa say that he was going to mow the yard. She sneaked outside and draped the rubber snake on the back rest onto the seat!

Jessica silently watched as her grandpa walked toward the lawn mower and when he step upon the mower he blasted into the air as if he had rockets attached to his feet and was “Screaming like a little girl!”

Jessica was dying of laugher as she watched her grandpa come unglued in the front yard and when he discovered that it was a rubber snake he knew that somebody wanted to send a charge of 2000 volts of electricity through his body!

My father blamed my mother for putting the snake on the lawn mower and Jessica sure wasn’t going to tell on herself especially after watching her grandpa convulsing and shouting in the front yard!

Mom tried to reassure dad but it was too late because the laughter demons were out of the cage! It was full-fledged doubled over side-splitting laughter!

Yep, they were over the moon and the more mom and Jessica laughed the madder dad got!

My mother kept Jessica’s secret because she knew that between the two of them it had to be Jessica that scared the life out of her grandfather!

They say that “laughter is the best medicine” and if that is true dad’s antics that day added ten years to their lives!

Donna Faye, CDP

Well, WiDgEtS

Please be patient with me as I try to figure out how to link another blog to my current one!

I have made mistake after mistake and it is more than a “little” difficult with my Acquired Brain Injury!

I am literally Pete ‘n’ Repeat!

Widget! Link!

View all links? Link categories?

Now what did I just do? DANG!

Re-reading WordPress Support page ONE MORE TIME!

Ok, Think! Think! Think!

E=M,C? Alright! Who moved the square icon on the computer!

I digress!

I have come to the conclusion that a Calmly Dysfunction Professional such as I- that is slightly over the edge is just not as ingenious as the Brilliant Graham’s Fabulous Five!

It’s not my fault! Their grandfather drove me crazy!

I digress again!

Warm Regards,

Digressing Donna Faye, CDP

donna4<a

OK, WHO MOVED MY PICTURE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE! gRRRRRR!

Ebb and Flow

When one is a Calmly Dysfunctional Processional such as me…I have learned to adapt and recognize the ebb and flow in the tides of pandemonium!

As I have written before in a blog called “It Might Have Been A Dream.” Every once in a while I slide down the rabbit hole into unreality because the events unfolding seems surreal!

“Pooh and the Hundred Acer Woods” was no help with this uplifting dysfunctional moment but I do know that the “Wise Old Owl” would have most likely hooted a warning!

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!”

Be wary of the holiday mother looking backwards through the looking-glass void of conscience and never accepts blame because the holiday mother is a “Jubjub bird” in disguise!

Suddenly a loud piercing ring echoed through the house and the children scatter as the “Jubjub bird” swoops except for one young child who boldly talks to the strange creature with “eyes aflame!”

The “Jubjbub bird” attempts to lull the young child away by singing a song… but the song was a combination of high pitched caterwauling mingled with low guttural mumbling sounds that made absolutely no sense to the child!

The child though “Mad as a Hatter!” “Mad as a Hatter!” But the child worried!
Would the “Jubjub bird” be “Mad as a Hatter” -at her if she angers the bird by not listening to her song?

Should I peek out of the rabbit hole? No, not yet because it is easier to understand the “Jubjub bird” when clocked in the madness!

When the child flees… the “Jubjub bird” cleverly attempts to appease the “King of Heart” (who protects the child) by telling him that she was only soothing the child by signing a song!

The “King of Hearts” told the “Jubjub bird” that “YOU WOULD NOT KNOW HOW TO SING A SONG IF IT BIT HER ON THE ASS!”

“OH!” “I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date!”

WITH MY THERAPIST!

Oh, my goodness, gracious how could I have forgotten that I DON’T HAVE A THERAPIST!

Om, Om, Om,

Child defused from feeling at fault for not wanting to listen to the singing… along with being scared, and confused!

Red lights flashing! Situation averted….STAND DOWN!

Om, Om, Om,

Ebb and Flow! Ebb and Flow!

“Just keep swimming!” “Just keep swimming!”

Donna Faye, CDP

Before We Had Fast Internet

lee 2lee

This story is written by my grandson (only grandson) who is my second grandchild that is ten years-old!

Before We Had Fast Internet
By: Lee Graham

About 3 years ago we didn’t have fast internet and the only game that would work online was stupid Little Big Planet and I kept asking WHEN WILL WE GET FAST INTERNET!?

The only thing that we played was call of duty modern warfare 3, on survival.

In 2012 I started to play minecraft. I made an account and I went to the google chrome email. After I done that I then closed the email screen then went back to minecraft.net and it said I had to download this thing called java and it took almost forever to download but after that was done I logged off and it said my account had migrated then it said I had to login with my email address! I did that, then tried it, but it still did not work!

So I logged in with my Mojang password, it worked, but when I logged in I got to the title screen then I went to multiplayer! I got the IP Adresss and the internet connection was not working so I asked grandma WHEN ARE WE GETTING FAST INTERNET!?

Grandma: NEVER IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP!!!

1 year later this thing called Century Link installed fast internet in our home. It took a while but it was worth the wait and it is very very fast!

Now I have started to ask grandma when can I have a headset!

The end or is it? ;D

josiejosie 2

This is a story written by my granddaughter, Josie Graham who is my fifth grandchild that just turned seven years-old!

THE PLACES I’VE BEEN
BY: JOSIE GRAHAM

TO THE BEACH .TO THE CIRCUS. TO THE LAKE. TO THE SMOKEY MOUNTAINS. TO GATLINBURG. TO THE DOCTER. TO MY HOME.

NOW A SPEECH!

I’M HOT, HE’S COLD, LEMONADE EVERYONE!

Stellajulia

This is a true story written by my granddaughter, Julia Graham who is my third grandchild that is eight years-old!

The Story of Stella
By: Julia Graham

True Story 5/25/13

There once was a dog named Stella outside in the dark, the coyotes were out and she was gone for a few days.

After two days she was home with blood on her (everyone was worried)!

Then they called the Doctor and they carried her to the car trunk and they drove to the Doctor.

On Christmas Day she died the worst Christmas present EVER.

My Cat

avery catavery

This is a story written by Avery Graham who is my fourth granddaughter that is eight years-old!

My Cat
By: Avery Graham

One day, long ago on October 29,2011 my family and I were carving pumpkins…..Sudenly a beautiful cat came to our house!

She had black fur, green eyes,and a very cute meow :] But for some awkward reason, I was scared! I think it was because she was a stray or I didn’t like when animals jump up on me. So,I had to carve my pumpkin inside.

When we were all done my mom came in with me. Surprisingly, my sister and I were completely different! She loved the cat, but me, well not so much. A few days later she left!

My sister Maggie balled her eyes her eyes out!

About 3 weeks later I was in the bathroom washing my hands and I heard meowing! My mom called my sister’s name.

She said:”Maggie! Come here!!! As we entered outside we saw the cat!!!! We named the cat Reggie.

We couldn’t have pets so we begged our land lord if we could keep her. He said yes.

A few weeks later, I got to know Reggie. I warmed up to her and she warmed up to me. And it comes to now in 2013. I love my cat!

Thanks for reading my story XD

The Peace Keeper

Julia  Shella

Julia is my third grandchild that lives with me, my husband, Bill and their father Ben.

Julia rounds out the trio of Lee, and Josie.

She is the peace keeper between her other two siblings and at times she referees arguments on who did what so I can keep the facts straight when Lee and Josie are both screaming at me at the same time on who needs to be in trouble!

Julia is the exact opposite of her two high powered brother and sister, however, she is not a push over and she has the respect from both her siblings which is amazing for a middle child.

She is a child of conviction! If she believes she is right she will defend and debate her believes! Backing down is not an option!

The sad part about her convictions is that she is usually right and it is usually in the subject math!

I swear she takes me back to elementary school every school year to relearn or learn something!

It’s very humbling to have an eight year-old explaining concepts to me!

Julia has her own brand of humor and she definitely keeps it real!

Donna Faye, CDP

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