http://www.guardian.co.uk

kids fighting

Lee and Josie, God could not have created two different siblings!

They love to antagonize one another and then try to outwit each other in explaining to me why they were screaming at each other!

Lee just called me a terrorist!

Yea, huh, well, Josie called me an extremist!

Terrorist! Extremist!

Grandma quickly grabs the Webster’s Dictionary to look up the definitions!

Is there a children’s version of Webster’s?

My goodness! They are only 10 and 7 years-old!

Webster’s was no help so…

I asked Josie what is an extremist?

Her reply was, “somebody that can’t keep their big mouth shut! All they do is talk, talk, talk… drives me nuts!”

I couldn’t wait to hear what terrorist meant!

“A terrorist is somebody that calls you names, who run their big mouths all the time, and WHO talks a lot more than I do!”

Who knew that terrorist and extremist pretty much meant the same things!

In the words of Lee and Josie terrorist and extremist are:

You shut up!

No you shut up!

You shut up first!

No you shut up

You big mouth!

I am not a big mouth!

GRANDMA! Lee is calling me names!

GRANDMA! Am not!

On and on they go and while they dramatically debate who should shut up first or who called who names!

Grandma is very calmly chanting!

Om, Om, Om, I am free as a cloud floating in the sky!

Om, Om, I am floating over my happy trees!

Om, Om, Om, Om, I’m a happy bird, flying in my happy clouds, perching on my happy trees!

My inner voice is soothingly reminding me that I am a Calmly Dysfunctional Professional…relax… ever so peacefully release cleansing breath….relaxing.

ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT WHERE IS MY VALIUM!