Tag Archive: baby birds animals humor grandpa family

Slightly Frazzled

kids fighting

It starts out as a low whine and by increments it steadily progresses to a high-pitched shriek “I’m Gona tell GRANDMA!”

Next I hear feet running across the floor as the siren shrieks to search out where grandma is hiding!

“Grandma, Lee, he, put his butt in my face! He told me he was going to fart in my face!

Lee, yells from his bedroom, “I did not! You, you’re just trying to get me in trouble JOSIE!”

Am not
Are too
Am not
Are too

Jesus, Mary, Joseph, what special misery awaits me today?

I am not even out of bed yet!

There is nothing like waking up in the morning to kids circling my bed screaming over the top of me wanting me to intervene to punish one of the offenders so the other can privately gloat which sets off another string of complaints against the other.

I clamp my pillow over my head to try to muffle out the rivalry between the two beloved children but their thirst for justice will not be abated.

I debate if I should keep my head buried under the pillow until they leave but upon peeking out from under the pillow I see very determined eye balls looking at me so that is not really an option.

Hmm, which one do I throw to the curb so that temporary peace will be restored? Both are guilty of breaking the sound barrier! The assault on my ears should be a felony!

This situation calls for the standard response. It starts out as a low whine and by increments it steadily progresses to a high-pitched shriek “If you can’t get along SEPARATE NOW!”

I am seriously thinking about installing loud speakers in the house that will play the same recording every time a fight breaks…a very loud, annoying sound like fingernails slowly racking across a chalkboard!

Slightly Frazzled,

Donna Faye, CDP


Josie and Her Baby Birds

bird pic 2

Josie found newborn baby birds and eyes were as big as quarters as she ran to her grandpa to tell him all about her discovery.

Bill explained to her that since she found the babies that she could be their “segregate” mother.

Once Bill explained to her what “segregate” meant- she was ready to be a mother!

Bill asked Josie, “How are you going to feed your babies?” She replied, “I’m going to feed them worms!”

It was in that exact moment that she became a little uncomfortable with the idea of being a “segregate” because Bill was explaining to her exactly how she was going to have to feed the birds.

Her eyes went from the size of quarters to half dollars!

“I have to chew the worms up in my mouth and then spit the worms in the baby birds mouth!?” In which Bill replied, “Yes, you do because baby birds don’t have teeth!”

“Chew them in my mouth!”

I was so impressed by Bill’s composure when he said, “Josie do you want to be a good mother?”

Josie’s face contorted, and she looked a little green as she mulled over in her mind just how she was going to chew up worms in her mouth.

After a few minutes of complete silence, Josie looked at her grandpa with the most perplexing look as she asked, “But grandpa, “How do you chew up worms in your mouth?!”

The idea of being a segregate parent had faded fast however she had committed to this but she just couldn’t find any loop holes to gracefully exit this predicament she found herself in….until.

Bill burst out laughing!

Josie was so relieved she didn’t have to chew up worms but her last words were precious when she said, “You know, grandpa, I think I should let the mama bird feed her babies because I don’t think I can chew up worms!”

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