Bill fire

It was a fall day in October 2011, when I noticed two marks that looked like small blood blisters on Bill’s right index finger.

I asked Bill what happen, in which he replied, “Oh that, I was pulling weeds behind the truck and a Green Snake bite me on my finger.”

Now I am terrified of snakes so I would like for it to be noted that when Bill told me that he had been bitten by a snake that my demeanor was cool, calm and collected as I shrieked, “WHAT! Did you just say that a snake bit you?!”

For some reason Bill became very agitated with me and the only reason that I could think of that would have irritated him so badly was the fact that I was so cool, calm and collected when he told me to, “Not make a big deal about it because it was only a little Brown Snake and he knew that it wasn’t poisonous!”

As you can imagine, at this point, I am very proud of myself for staying so nonchalant, unruffled, and composed as I shouted,” WHAT! YOU SAID IT WAS A GREEN SNAKE!?”

So Bill says to me, ok, Ok, OK! It was a Greenish Brown Snake and then he instantly became quite annoyed with me again because I just can’t seem to shake the…I just got bit by a snake…LOOK OFF MY FACE!

At this moment in time, I must say in my defense, that it is not everyday that my husband tells me in such a cavalier manner that he has been bitten by a snake, nor does he not know the kind of snake that bite him!

So I feel that my arched eyebrows disappearing in my hairline, huge pinched nostrils, and a face that looked like I was sucking on a lemon was entirely appropriate for the occasion!

Since Bill had two fang marks on his finger and no clue about what kind of snake had taken a small bite- left me with only one conclusion.

Once the snake was introduced to Bill’s dysfunctional blood alcohol content the snake fell over dead from alcohol poisoning!

Just goes to show you can’t keep a good man down! However, for his wife to remain cool, calm and collected requires A LOT of valium!

Donna Faye, CDP