June Cliver
Have you ever got into a tug-o-war with your child or grandchild over not eating their food?  It is amazing how long they can hold out not eating the food put in front of them.  So, you have to desperately find an alternative solution so the little sweetheart will know without a doubt ‘who’ is in charge!

If you haven’t had the privilege of locking horns with a stubborn independent child… then I will just have to tell you about Josie, my seven year-old granddaughter!

I had fixed a pot roast for dinner one evening and I was so sure the grandkids would just love my ‘labor of love’ when I placed the steaming plate of pot roast with potatoes in front of them, with fresh homemade biscuits!   I had produced a culinary masterpiece with my own hands!

I can’t say with 100% clarity, but I believe that I had a  Martha Steward goes commando in Hell’s Kitchen kind of moment when Josie said to me, “Grandma, I’m not hungry”.   Things got a little blurred and I think Josie’s lips were moving in slow motion.  My body felt like someone stuck a high voltage electric fence up my butt!  I was definitely feeling the spirit but what kind is still a mystery.

Now, Josie saying she is not hungry is code for I don’t like your food but I will take a big bowl of ice cream please!  So, I did what any rational person would do when sparks are shooting out of my fingertips and my hair is standing straight up in the air from static discharge!  I said to Josie, “Young lady there are children starving in Greeneville (China is so overrated these days) who would be happy to have this meal!

Josie, balked, and we discussed in great detail the reasons why she needed to eat her dinner, while I am trying to control the twitching in my eyes.  Finally, I gave her the final ultimatum which was “little lady” you will not get up from this table until you have eaten your food, hence, the battle of wills commenced!

One hour later, I am getting more agitated because the little brat was hanging tough and appeared quite happy sitting at the table.

Bill decided that he needed to umpire the impasse that Josie and I had reached so he ruled that Josie be allowed to get up from the table!  Of course, I protested his decision but he threatened to kick me out of Hell’s Kitchen…YOUR OUT OF HERE!  Personally, I think umpires are just to bossy!

I did not realize until I got sick with ARDS (Arterial Respiratory Disorder Syndrome), just how much of a sense of humor our Lord has because at 12:00 AM, Josie started vomiting Pot Roast with Potatoes!   It was caked in her hair, her night-gown, her sheets, blanket, pillows, and her baby doll.  Huge chunks of POT ROAST with POTATOES!

I have an ongoing dialog with the Lord,  so I said, “Dear Lord, this is payback, right”?   Sigh…well; I guess I shouldn’t complain since your father could have caused a fountain of vomit to spew out of Josie like the exorcist!

After I got her cleaned up, I apologized to Josie for not being understanding when I should have been in which Josie responded, “That’s ok grandma” and for a split second I could have sworn that I saw a look in Josie’s eyes that said, “Don’t mess with the master!  Regardless, in God’s infinite wisdom I was shown that no one is never too old to be disciplined by a child.

Donna Faye, CDP